Currently I'm going through an extreme bout of sleep deprivation. Little Buddy is experiencing his first cold, combined with teething, and therefore he has been waking me up six to eight times a night. Needless to say, this does not ensure a good night's rest. In general, my day looks something like this:
9:30 (or earlier, depending on how long I can ignore Little Buddy's wake-up alarm of squirming and grunting)- I stumble out of bed, bleary-eyed, and shuffle my way into the kitchen to put the coffee pot on. Coffee is a necessity these days. I heroically gave it up during pregnancy but I've since returned to my addicted state. Cannot. Function. Without. Coffee. Then I change the sheets because someone's diaper exploded while we cuddled in bed this morning. I am completely immune to all forms of bodily fluid at this point. Wiping baby poop off my leg is simply another semi-weekly occurrence.
10:00-10:30 - I attempt to have my prayer time while Little Buddy insists on my holding him while he fusses and squirms. I ask God for patience and love for my baby and My Love, who has been suffering from all this lack of sleep as well, probably even more so than I because of his plowing and salting duties at his job. I ask Mary to pray for me that I may have her gentleness of heart. I need it. Somewhere in there, I get some bible reading done. Change my fourth poopy diaper of the morning. Wipe baby puke off my shirt.
11:00 - Try to get Little Buddy down for his first nap. My new rule is whatever gets the baby to sleep works. Sometimes its the swing. Sometimes its holding him in my arms the whole time. Sometimes its laying with him in my bed. Whatever floats his boat. Mama needs some peace and quiet.
12:00-5:00 - The rest of my day is spent alternating between getting Little Buddy up from a nap, changing diapers, feeding him, playing with him, putting him back down for a nap, etc. all while trying to fit in a few loads of laundry and maybe some dishes so I don't collapse under the avalanche of housework that is looming above me. Getting dressed? Optional. Putting make-up on?The idea is hilarious.
6:00-8:00 - Welcome My Love home from work while one of us tries to cook dinner while violently yawning.
9:30-10:00 - Bedtime. Gear up to do it all over again.
Now, in case you think that I am completely despondent and depressed and mothering is the worst thing that could happen to anyone, I have to share with you the moments that make all of this, even the blow-out diapers and spit-up running down my shoulder, worth it.
9:30 - Little Buddy smiles at me, a big gorgeous smile that covers his whole face. He squeals and coos and snuggles closer. The look in his eyes is so full of joy, as if I am the best thing in his life, Best way to wake up ever.
10:00-10:30 - I cover Little Buddy's cheeks with kisses while I pray. Baby cheeks are the sweetest, most kissable things in the whole world. And baby legs, toes, hands, fingers, feet, ears, etc. He graciously allows me to smother him with love.
11:00 - You don't know true peace and trust until you have watched an infant sleep. So, so precious. And baby heads are the best drug in the whole world. Don't judge until you try it. Go find a baby and deeply inhale that sweet scent from their head. I know. I'm a total freak. It's ok. I've accepted it.
12:00-5:00 - Baby gurgles, coos, squeals, smiles. The soundtrack to my life. A few wails and tears thrown in here and there, but my ability to soothe them makes them sweet. Watching him grow and learn and accomplish new milestones makes me so proud and happy. I imagine this is how God must feel when we conquer our own spiritual baby steps. You are my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.
6:00-8:00 - Being parents has brought My Love and I together in a way I never thought possible. Some days, we watch our son grow and share our excitement over all of his little antics. And some days, we hold on to each other for dear life as we ride the new-life-as-parents storm out. But we're in it together, us against the world with God holding on to us. And that's what makes it possible. And by the way ladies? A big man snuggling a tiny infant really is the sexiest thing in the world ;-).
9:30-10:00 - All of us cuddling warm and cozy together. A feeling of family togetherness. Holding hands as our arms drape across our sweet little baby, the evidence of our love for each other. This is contentment. This is what perfect happiness feels like. All the stressful moments, and all the tiredness and fights, the messes and clutter, this moment right here is what makes it worth it all. And I wouldn't have it any other way :-).
